argh. « living in ~ ..A World of Nonsense..

Thursday, March 15, 2007
argh.

you frustrate me so much. i really don't know what to do with you. i no longer know how i feel about you or if i feel you at all. it started out so great but that initial passion has decreased so much i wonder if there is any of it left. i try so hard to make this work for the both of us. i bite my tongue before i speak. i think about how i can constantly improve and be more patient but i do have a limit. it took me so much to let this happen. i dont think you understand how much that really is. i dont think you even care that much, or you wouldn't be the way you are. you want me to open up and tell you everything, to let you in my life 100% but how can i do that the way its going now? how can i still have room for you in my life. when it is the way it is.

im really sorry i dont live up to your expectations. im sorry you can do "so much better". im sorry im not a "better" girlfriend. its just the way i am and you dont have to accept it. but like seriously, if you can't accept it then don't go out with me. don't keep me as your girlfriend. i really don't care if we break up.

its come to that point where i don't really care anymore. every few weeks this happens all over again. well im sorry but im sick of it. bloody sick of all the ups and downs. im sick of your criticising. i am so much better than you. in every way. seriously. thats just how i feel and you will never read this because im too chicken to say it to you. but maybe i will. since last weekend i've had a long and hard think about this. im not sure if this is what i want. i try so hard but its just not working.

so soon enough i'll have had enough of it and i will leave. maybe it'll end tonight. who knows. i just know that we're not going to be together for much longer because i can't stand you. i couldn't stand you from a long time ago but i was patient and forgiving. i just let you be the way you want to be, so immodest, so obnoxious, so undeserving. you made me realise that i can do so much better than you. i remember telling you that you can do so much better. well i take that back. you can't. you can't do any better than me. i am the best you're ever going to get and you should be sad that you can't even keep me for 2 months without me tearing my hair out trying to get away from you..

i dont bar you on purpose. i bar you because i don't like being around you. i don't like you. i don't like anything about you. i pity myself. for ever liking someone like you. i pity anyone who's ever liked you in the past. i nkow that no one will like you much in the future. or maybe you'll find someone like yourself. i wish you luck in that. i won't miss you.

so here i say goodbye. good bye you and if i say so myself, good riddance too.

mckaren stepped on your garbage at Thursday, March 15, 2007 05:31 pm

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mckaren
December 23rd 1989 (Age 19)
Female

`wHo .. ??
* Karen
* 23rd December 1989
* Fortian
* kazzykazza@hotmail.com
* LDS
* Tall.. ish
* Laughs alot.. but maybe a biiit too much..

` lOves .. ??
* Turkey - Filiz * Egypt - Persis
* Going on shopping sprees .. and actually buying lots of stuff
* Gummi everything ..
* Sudoku
* Getting freebies ^^

` wAnts ..
* Biscotti gelato from Gelatissimo
* To go road-trippin' with Egypt and Turkey
* More Korean dramas .. LOL
* New mallets and some decent pairs of drumsticks ..
* The ability to fly *dreams*

` wIshlist ..
* Ipod Video 30 GB
* Beaded Necklaces in Black and Purple
* Purr Hoodie in Grey
* Singlets in Grey and Yellow
* Miss Shop - the ENTIRE collection
* Keds

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